While I would describe myself as a patriot, albeit of the more Whitman-esque variety, when it comes to this facet of American culture, my patriotism defects to those nations where suds and sodas can coexist in a land of ever-vending pleasure.
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Sometimes I get so riled up when plopping my quarters into the slot, I'll body check the soda machine or give it a forearm shiver as means of protesting my lack of lager options.
Turns out, there is a place for brutes like me. If I'm ever forced to flee my native land on this issue alone, I now know of a country that will offer me asylum. A land of milk, honey and vending machines full of beer: Argentina.
On top of that, my vending machine violence is not only accepted, it's rewarded. All I need to do is summon my inner rugby player.
That's because Argentinean beer company Cerveza Salta and creative agency Ogilvy have teamed up to create the "Rugbeer" vending machine. The machine has a built-in sensor that encourages, nay requires, thirsty thugs likes myself to tackle the machine in order to receive a beer.
Well, not tackling it entirely, but giving it a good enough jolt with the shoulder should do the trick. Just make sure to give it a good enough lick so that the sensors cause the strength meter to light up green.
While Argentina boasts having the most soccer fans in the world, in the northern Salta Province, rugby is what's on tap. In fact, as it toured the region, Rugbeer was so popular that it increased beer sales by 25 percent in the bars it visited.
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Not sure if you've got what it takes for Rugbeer to give up the goods? Well, if you're a beer-drinking rugby fan who's not afraid to slam dance with a vending machine, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that you'll have no problem crackin' open a cool one.
credit: Cerveza Salta