Spock: "Before I can call it a planet captain I must conduct a survey of the entire Gamma Draconis system and assemble an ephemeris of the motions of all substellar bodies."
Kirk: (puzzled) "Explain, Spock"
Spock: "We need to know if this object on the view screen dynamically dominates its orbit."
Spock: "Once a survey of all bodies in the systems is collected we'll need to run a dynamical simulation modeling planet migration and debris belt evolution over the past 4 billion years. I'll have an answer for you in 6.2 hours."
Kirk: "Spock, this is a planet! It's round, it has an atmosphere, oceans, I can even seen volcanoes! McCoy, what do you think?"
McCoy: "Damn it, Jim! I'm a doctor not a grammarian!"
Spock: "Respectfully Captain, If you review the Enterprise's memory banks, the science history log chronicles the definition for a planet set forth in by the International Astronomical Union in the Old World year 2006."
Kirk: "That document is nearly 300 years old! Hell, it was written when our ancestors hardly knew of any planets in the galaxy!"
Spock: "The planet definition has never been updated, it is still the reference guide as prescribed by Starfleet."
Kirk: "Unbelievable! Well if we can beam down onto it, it's a planet!"
Spock: "Excuse me Captain, I've just discovered that apparently the IAU definition only applies to our solar system... never mind."