Google's search results are way too vanilla for an OG like yourself. You need a search engine with a little gansta funk in it. Fo' shizzle my nizzle, here's one that's "realer than Real Deal Holyfield": Gizoogle.
What's Gizoogle you ask? Though not affiliated with Google in any way, it's just like its more straight-laced cousin, with one noticable difference: it translates all search results into ganstalisious slang popularized by Snoop Dogg.
Not hip to Snoop's linguistic flair on his "Doggy Fizzle Televizzle" show on MTV? No worries, just log on and get schooled. But before you do, Gizoogle has a few words of warning.
"This website is only intended for mature audiences farmiliar with the slanguage used by Snoop Dogg, and anybody under the age of 13 should not visit this website without adult supervision," the website states.
For example, let's type in the most non-gangsta thing we can think of. How about the "Lawrence Welk Show." Here's what Gizoogle's "Wikipizzle" page spits out:
"Da Lawrence Welk Show be a American televised musical variety sheezy hosted by bangin' band leader Lawrence Welk. Da series aired locally up in Los Angelez fo' four muthaf****n' years (1951-55), then nationally fo' another 27 1/2 muthaf****n' years (1955-1971) via the ABC network..."