Fencing? That's not fencing. Fencing is putting up a hundred yards of barbed wire on a 100-plus degree day. Try switching to swords. And can we perhaps liven archery up a bit by having competitors shoot apples off teammate's heads.
Ever heard the old saying "Busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest"? Well, let's really see one-legged competitors in butt-kicking contests.
I'm glad to see badminton finally getting its due, but golf? Really? As an Olympic sport? How about we combine this with a shooting event where every time a ball is struck the shooters take turns blasting away at it.
And please stop calling it "water polo." Clearly there are no horses in the pool during the competition – although there should be.
Sailing? Really? Many of us pay big bucks to go sailing or out on a sailboat for vacation and relaxation, hardly an Olympic sport. Why don't we show who can make it through the airport the fastest instead, now that's real competition. "Which TSA line is moving faster? How much carry-on can I get away with to avoid luggage fees?"