It's come to this.
Three-dimensional printing, which can custom print cars, food, art, medical implants, guns and duck feet is positioned to print dildos. Berlin-based programmer Ikaros Kappler is about to become a multi-millionaire with his website Dildo Generator, where pleasure seekers can design their own sex toy.
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Phallus-philes start with a basic model that can be lengthened, widened, colorized and curved. A panel displays the metrics, including volume of silicon, which I suspect gives the device heft.
According to Clair Cohen of the UK's Telegraph, "Those who have already tested the site report being able to create dildos shaped like dolphins, chess pieces, candles, vases and even wine glasses." Huh. Creative.
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When the design meets your aesthetic, simply print it out on your silicon printer. Oh, don't have one? No sweat. Order a mold or take the saved file to a third party service to print it for you. We're all adults here. Be bold, little soldier.