Titanium Straw: $14.99

We've all experienced the horrors of the wimpy plastic straw: Too weak to penetrate the juice box; too flimsy for anything but the most mundane cold beverage; too prone to cracks, leaks and other unsightly embarrassments. The solution? That's right, it's the Titanium Straw, very likely the last straw you'll ever need to buy.

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For those of us who weren't already aware, titanium — none other than the metal of the gods — is not only tasteless, odorless and corrosion-resistant, but it also possesses low thermal conductivity, meaning that it won't get too hot or too cold. Take note, Goldilocks! Perhaps even better, it's very lightweight and yet strong enough to be stabbed straight into an orange in a single bound, according to ThinkGeek, its trusty purveyor. (That feat and more are actually demonstrated on this video.) The dishwasher-safe innovation measures about 7 inches tall; get one for yourself and “juice boxes will shudder and beverages everywhere will quake in fear,” ThinkGeek predicts. Who can resist a prospect like that?

Credit: ThinkGeek