These Cuffs Will Shock The Hell Out Of You
These handcuffs are truly shocking. And that's only a fraction of what they're capable of.
According to U.S. Patent Application 20120298119, Scottsdale Inventions, LLC of Paradise Valley, Arizona has invented a pair of high-tech handcuffs that appear to be a Swiss Army knife of torture restraint.
For starters, the cuffs are capable of administering high-voltage, low amperage shocks that will immobilize uncooperative detainees. Inspired by invisible fence technology that not-so-subtly reminds dogs where their boundaries are, these cuffs are a part of a programmable system that uses radio transmitters to corral prisoners. Step beyond the designated perimeter and the cuffs could issue various warnings, such as audible signals, vibrations, a flashing light or a mild electric shock, before a more severe zap would restore order.
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As well, the cuffs could include an accelerometer, inclinometer, potentiometer, location sensing device,
microphone, camera, a biometric sensor or a combination of devices that would allow guards to more closely monitor their prisoners.
If there's any mercy to be found, the cuffs do include safety cutouts to prevent fatal jolts. However, developers also envision the cuffs being able to release gases, liquids, dyes and even sedatives that could be injected into the prisoners. That's right, ladies and gentlemen, syringe-equipped handcuffs.
But wait there's more. If you're still not convinced that these cuffs are the most fully loaded, less-lethal weapon this side of Joel Braun's little ray of sunshine, Scottsdale Inventions wants to remind you that this system could also be incorporated into ankle cuffs, restraining belts, straitjackets, harnesses, facial restraints, helmets or neck collars.
I don't know about you, but if the image of an inmate writhing in agony, compliments of his or her shock collar and/or facial restraints, is enough to send you to the dark and troubled side of life, feel free to join me. I'll be hanging out with the Carters on the bright and sunny side. As our current news cycle continues to seethe, I think we could all use a little Vitamin D.