Wake n' Bacon
You've heard the phrase, "Everything is better with bacon." If you're an afficionado of bacon, you know exactly why this is; bacon, in a word, is awesome. There's no other product out there quite like it -- pork or otherwise -- with its perfect combination of texture, saltiness, and smoked goodness. Typically, bacon is served with a side of eggs or flapjacks, or put on top of a burger or inside a B.L.T. -- but if you're a total baconophile, you know this isn't enough. Fortunately, there are plenty of bacon-inspired products out there sold by retailers like Bacon Freak, Archie McPhee, Think Geek, Accoutrements, and J&D's Foods, so that you can see, feel, smell, taste, and even wear bacon all day, everyday. So your morning begins in the bedroom. What's the only thing that can get you out of bed? The enticing aroma of bacon, that's what. Matty Sallin, Daniel Bartolini, Hsiao-huh Hsu and Josh Myer devised this bacon alarm clock which wakes you up by warming up bacon at the time you set the alarm, so that the smell of bacon fills your lungs first thing in the morning. No need for a snooze button here; once that bacon is warm and ready, you can start your day with breakfast in bed.
Bacon Freak, Accoutrements
Before your breakfast of bacon with a side of bacon, it's time to get ready for the day. This doesn't mean you have to have a lull in your bacon infatuation, for Accoutrements makes products to fill your bathroom with bacon-flavored things, including toothpaste, dental floss, soap, and lip balm.
J&D's, Bacon Freak
If you're having bacon with a side of bacon for breakfast, chances are there's some bread or toast at the table too. But that doesn't mean it doesn't have to taste like anything other than bacon because you can spread the bacon taste with a few spreads on the market out there, including J&D's famous bacon-infused Baconnaise.
CafePress.com, Mozo, Amazon.com, Bacon Freak
Before you leave the house, it's time to accessorize. Fortunately, you can be completely coordinated with matching visual patterns of your favorite smoked pork product. Being seen with bacon flip flops, bacon shoes, bacon neckties, or a bacon wallet lets everyone know you mean business when it comes to bacon.
Bacon Freak, J&D's
The Smell of Bacon in the Air
It's time to get out and get some fresh air -- of bacon, that is. Light a candle to get the scent of bacon circulating around the room or office, or simply take a breath of fresh BaconAir -- right from an inhaler.
Bacon Freak, Accoutrements
What's for lunch? Perhaps a double bacon cheeseburger with extra bacon. But afterwards, you're going to need a mint to freshen your breath -- a bacon mint, that is. Uncle Oinker's savory Bacon Mints will do the job. And while you're in the mood for candy, you might as well try some maple bacon salt water taffy, bacon candy necklaces, bacon jelly beans, or bacon lollipops.
In the middle of the afternoon, you may need a snack -- a little pick-me-up to get you through the rest of your day. Snack time need not be devoid of your favorite pork product flavor, for there's bacon pretzels, bacon popcorn, or Sir Francis Bacon Peanut Brittle.
Fancy Bacon Fish Roe
The refined, epicurious bacon lover doesn't need to stoop down low to consume simple bagged bacon snack foods thanks to the California Caviar Company. Their bacon & eggs-infused trout roe is a delicious delicacy that you can spread on crackers as hors d'oeuvres before dinner.
Bacon Baked Goods
Bacon can be put in almost everything, so why not in baked goods? You can buy them as bacon bits as they accompany chocolate chips in Bacon Freak's cookies, or in their bacon brownie. For the bacon lover, this truly is a "special brownie."
Bacon Freak, Accoutrements
Who says you can't have your cake and eat it to -- with the flavor of bacon? Well you definitely can it all with Accoutrements' bacon-flavored frosting, which can make any bacon-lover's birthday cake a happy one.
Bacon Freak, Accoutrements, Amazon.com
With all this talk of bacon-flavored foods, you're going to need something to wash it all down with. Would you believe that there's not one but two companies that make bacon-flavored soda? And if that's not enough, you can convert any drink into an effervescent bacon-flavored beverage with Accoutrements' bacon drink tabs. Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, oh what a relief it is -- to be able to drink the taste of bacon anywhere.
READ MORE: Jack in the Box's Bacon Milk Shake Packs in the Calories and Fat
If you'd like to step up your bacon drinking, step it up to bacon-infused Bakon Vodka. The 2010 Gold Winner of the Beverage Tasting Institute and recipient of many more awards, Bakon Vodka is the choice spirit for making the ultimate bacon bloody mary.
Getting Intimate with Bacon
The dating scene just got a little smokier with the introduction of bacòn by Fargginay, the bacon-scented perfume. If you really turn on your bacon-loving partner, things might get a little more interesting, especially since J&D created bacon-scented baconlube -- for your pleasure.
One way or another, you're going to hit the sack. Sweet-Meats Bacon Plush Toy Pillow lets you get a good night's rest, as you dream of bacon-infused sugar plum fairies dancing in your head.
All this constant bacon consumption may not actually good for you; your devotion to bacon may actually cause heart failure or worse -- you can literally "love bacon to death." If that ever happened, rest in peace in the Bacon Coffin for just $2,999.99. If you can't take bacon with you to the afterlife, you can at least go out with some style.
WATCH: How It's Made: Bacon