Image: Zug

Anybody can partake in a green beer drinking marathon to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day. But it takes a curious sadist to partake in a self-declared Shamrock Shake Challenge. In the spirit of celebrating his Irish heritage, Sam Jordan at the humor site Zug decided that he would down a gallon of McDonald’s Shamrock Shakes:

For St. Patrick’s Day this year, I was trying to drink one gallon of McDonald’s Shamrock Shakes. Yes, one gallon. 128 fluid ounces. In one sitting. Why? Well, besides the obvious wiseass retort of “Why not?”(usually good enough for me) there’s also the burning urge to refute the stereotype that we Irish are all about alcohol. I’m here to prove once and for all that we can binge drink anything, not just booze.

The damage: six large 22-ounce shakes, each of which contain 840 calories, 24 grams of fat and 117 grams of sugar. “Multiply those stats by six — the amount of shakes it takes fill a gallon milk jug — and well, I was expecting a major case of the queasies.”

Image: Zug

But alas, Jordan had to admit defeat. “I wish I could tell you the positive momentum lasted. But after it took me 11 minutes to find my homeland on the map, I was nearly full.” Of the gallon jug, he consumed a fair amount. He took out a ruler and said he was short about four inches. “Please, no sex jokes. Not at a time like this.”

To read Jordan’s entire hilarious account, head over to